Since I am a "Stay-at-home-mom" (SAHM in internet shorthand) by profession, I have a hard time coming up with something fitting to call my occupation that would be sassy, feminist, and more descriptive of what I actually do than simply, "mom." To that end, I put "domestique" in my blogger profile, only to discover that that's already taken. Apparently a domestique is the position of a player in a bicycle race. You can read the whole sordid, thunder-stealin' definition here. Sigh.
And I apologize if this is too far off-topic.
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4 comments:
I totally understand...it's difficult explaining to people that I'm not a SAHM, yet I'm pushing thirty and still in school :)
I find the use of "domestique" in cycling to be interesting--as someone who works only for the benefit of the team and team leader. Yet another case of where the patriarchy permeates language.
It's additionally aggravating to find that the term literally means "servant," which, I assure you, though I may to some extent be a servant, I do not have the desire to call myself such. I suppose I should update my profile. I need a word though for what I do! What do I call it? Domestic Goddess is like Servant Goddess, now isn't it? And that has the dual purpose of both denigrating and elevating me, which is a struggle to even think about. Though perhaps, it is much more apt to have the 2 contradictory meanings. Maybe I should get my linguist sister in on this.
Pushing 30 and still in school isn't anything to sneeze at, so I wouldn't worry about it. I know plenty of people my age not even through their BAs yet. Like, uh, me. You're at least on your way to a BFD, or uh, PhD. ;)
It's also weird that you should have to explain that you're not a SAHM. I mean, aren't most people not SAHMs (and not just men)?
What has always killed me about how "women who stay at home" (I hate the term "housewife") are usually assumed to not be the head of their households--never mind the fact that they maintain and run said household much of the time...
I also find it interesting that I have to explain that I'm not an SAHM (at least part of the time)--I find that the assumption is that graduate school is not a legitimate profession. No matter what, at least I'm learning how to Pile it Higher and Deeper...anyhow :)
Almost every SAHM I know is, in fact, head of household. It's really bizarre. Most handle the money, pay the bills, keep the house stocked with all the accouterments of daily toil, tend the children, foster the spousal relationship, make appointments, chauffeur everyone to and fro, et cetera et cetera et cetera. And yet, since I have no income, I am not permitted by my bank a line of credit for overdraft protection. That, my husband, the breadwinner, must do, though he has no clue as to how our internet bill pay even works. It additionally separates our banking so that we have a joint account, but the overdraft protection is in his name and the savings account, which I went into the bank to open while he was at work one day, is in mine, so he cannot access it and I cannot pay off any debt we incur without sending a check to the bank. And that, is just but one tiny example of the twisted financial inequities. I would so love to see pay for SAHMs! Or a lousy f-ing social security credit, at the very least!
Graduate students, SAHMs, children, the elderly, and the disabled are in the same boat, really. Same as artists and writers who without a "legitimate" position at a corporate entity, don't really have jobs. It's not like I sit at home all day doing yoga and drinking tea. I hardly sit at home at all with all the household maintenance to be done. What we, as a society, value is so skewed to the lifeless and the boring. How I loathe capitalism! It has reduced us all to the robotic, void of emotional variances, the logical and the reasonable and the civilized - only the pursuit of money in a totally mindless fashion is to be praised. It is no wonder we have been so duped with reality television.
How many topics can I hit on in one post? I am sure I am making absolutely no sense! I am covered in Lego! Forgive me!
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